Time Alone or a Time Together, Certainly Time Missed
It has been a few weeks since I last posted, not out of wanting to but today I felt I should include something, not to address a reason why but to perhaps just take stock and provide some, insights, if you will, into things. My grandfather recently passed. It was a very sudden event, I get a phone call telling me he has had a massive heart attack, but seems stable if not aware of his surroundings. Just over an hour later I got another call telling me he went to sleep and never woke up.
Out of everything that has happened I am thankful that my two grandparents (one grandfather I barely new my other grandmother I never knew, she died when my mum was 3 (or there about)), one was my mother’s father the other was my father’s mother, they both passed while asleep and pretty much without too much of a warning that things were coming.
But the death of my pop, was more of a shock for one of a few reasons. I was planning to go up and see him and the family at Christmas 2013. With my new family, 2 adults and 2 children and flight prices in Australia is pretty much like everything, EXPENSIVE, it was going to cost 4 Adult tickets to travel to Brisbane from Melbourne which was well in excess of AU$2000. I spoke to my mother and we both didn’t think it was going to cost that much and decided we could put things off until they call come later in 2014.
So now, they will be coming later in the year, but they will be without my pop. There is a massive amount of regret I am feeling. Why did I worry about the cost? I could have physically afforded it, it wasn’t as if I was going to go without food or not have money to the house or bills, but I thought I guess nothing like this would happen, or more correctly I didn’t look at this as a possibility. Often when making plans, one doesn’t take death into account. “I should go see someone just in case they die.”. But a lot of choices I make in the future, this might be in the back of my mind, when faced with the choice of seeing one of my family or worrying about some financial problems down the track (if that might happen) I will possibly take the prior.
Do events like this always need to happen for anything of such to change a tact of policy, perhaps. I know if I had decided to pay the AU$2000+ in flights to Brisbane that Christmas, my Grandfather would have seen Isaac, but would have I felt better when getting the news about his death. Was it not so much the fact I didn’t go at Christmas but just that I will miss a good man, we were not terribly close but since I was closer to him than my other Grandfather there is something missing.
Death comes to all and it is something that we all have to deal with as friends and family are taken from this world. The one thing that I can take from this is;
So often in these moments we look at the person and miss the fact they aren’t there any more. I know I will miss the bad jokes he would love to indulge us with or regale the tails of story from Readers Digest. He loved playing Rummy Cub and any card game and was a very handy man, having built many things for my mum, as a child and also as an adult.
He fought in World War II in Papua New Guinea and despite the many attempts to have him tell the stories of his time in war from what I knew, he never once told anyone, I could be wrong, but something happened during that time that he does not to share or relive in his mind.
He saw the death of 2 wives, 4 brothers and he always still liked to put a smile on peoples faces. No matter where he resided he was always befriending people and did so with ease and was certainly popular with the ladies, even up in the last weeks before his passing. He wanted to be a better father for my mum but all in all, the tales learnt and passed to me I see that though he thought he could have been one I don’t think he was disappointed with the way his son and daughter turned out and then subsequently his grandchildren whom he saw grow into adult hood and also bring him great grand children.
My oldest son Elliott met his great grandfather a few times and he was known as GG to him. My youngest still knows of GG and has only spoken with him. Considering all I know about him, I couldn’t have wished for a better grandfather and certainly there was no better great grandfather for my two young men.
You have now the infinite of space and time to come and go as you please but I know despite the tantalising nature of that is you will be happy to just watch over us and catch up with your Brothers and your first wife Agnes, whom you have not seen in some 60 odd years. Your life will live on, always.
He is a man who will be missed, but no because of him not being here but because of the joy he could bring to others.