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Then There is Nothing


Now like a blot from the blue, ideas and words, pictures, scenes shots and stars all came into my head, mixed around and come out in the semblance of an idea for a feature film.  Often this was the case and as in the case in the past was, I could direct my thoughts, postulate on the goings on and happenings of the world I am creating.  Then as quickly as many of these things flooded in, gone. 

I woke yesterday to find the previous night there were no dream, no images, any hope of grabbing and idea and riding it within my mind just slipped out of grasp or failed to reach it.  It went as quickly as as they had previously came and was like a light switch (not like ones in my house however they seem to stay on, forever),

But hope was not lost, this morning though the images of the past have returned and are in a foggy and faded distances I can see them at the least.  Is this a cause from the medication as now it has been two months and I still feel the withdrawals from it, the spinning head failure for refresh the losing my way in thought or even failing to know which day of the week it is.  But a quick look at my watch confirmed it was Monday, though on the Monday it was fine.  It was on the Tuesday when things in terms of ideas dried up and cause some worry.

One of the things that has come from the time, albeit brief, when I was on a roll coming up with the ideas was I wanted to direct this into a film.  As during the time I was making my short films I would see scenes on the street of what I was writing, I could see how it would look from moving the camera (a virtual one) and then still get a good shot. 

I will be the first to put up my hand and say my short films we not great.  They were not meant to be great.  They were meant to be exercises in shooting a film.  My first we simple my second included some more moving camera, others included mixture shots by shooting the scene from multiple angles with the actors at different times, my last included some green screen and compositing, not great, but it was a learning part which I needed.  After that my next was to learn the long form.

So there is much I need to learn in the process of filmmaking but at the same time I need to also learn more about me, my mind and how I can adapt to the situation when I am hip deep in making a film and I find my brain has switched off and will not come back for a few days.  I can’t just shut up shop, but at the same time I can’t try and plough though hoping that everything is OK.

It might mean I need to document things a little more, make sure I have everything written, drawn pre-vizzed and typed out.  As pouring all my thoughts onto the page, into an image, into a photo will not only make my transition from a blank mind back into the fray much more seamless but also if there is someone who I can trust to take my vision into reality and use the assets created will make it much easier.  There are two people that I believe I can count on in my creative endeavours if the my mind decided to just come up with as much as a government policy convention, I can sit with them and know that these two will remain faithful to the vision.


A very poor attempt at a storyboard.